Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Do Not Tease the Vampire Librarian

It's not nice to tease me.

If you call to say you're gonna have 10 free pizzas delivered to Library X at 7pm for everyone, have 10 free pizzas delivered at 7pm, otherwise the poor vampire librarian will wait and wait and wait and slowly go mad with hunger, never mind the fact she has blood in the fridge. She wants pizza.

At 9pm, I finally had to give up hope and drink my blood. No pizza ever showed, and I had no number to call incessantly to ask where the pizza was. Next time I will know better.

I still want pizza.


I guess I should explain why I thought the pizza would actually show.

The caller identified themselves as a representative of a large housing/apartment complex community that wants University Z student business. They came by Library X last week with three free pizzas and asked if I would make an announcement about free pizza and who supplied it.

I said no.

There were conservatively speaking three hundred students in the building at that time. If I announced free pizza, all three hundred of them would come up and there would be a riot when they didn't get pizza. I told the people they could walk around on the fourth floor and invite some students to have some free pizza.

They said okay and asked how many pizzas would they need to get an announcement. I said ten. The student assistant said twenty. Twenty would have been a better answer.

That's why I believed the caller when they identified themselves as being with the apartment complex, but no pizza ever showed...

The student assistant said I should make an anti-announcement saying that the apartment complex had promised pizza tonight, but it never showed so don't live at that apartment complex.

I may start listening to the student assistants.


Anonymous HM said...

I prefer type O, but pizza would have been nice. Poor you!

8:54 AM, February 22, 2006  
Blogger Heather Brewer said...

Withholding pizza? That's just cruel....

10:50 AM, February 22, 2006  
Anonymous Kristy said...

Lots of wisedom in that student assistant. Keep your ears open!

11:21 PM, February 23, 2006  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

Whoops. That was the Host's account - thought I'd got rid of it. Grrr. Must be more observant in future...

5:12 PM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Brigadier General, the Baron von Vinculum said...

How VERY dare they. That's just cruel. Now you'll have to drink their blood - I trust you got a good look at them when they were in last week? Or have CCTV footage so that you can pick them out next time they come by?

5:13 PM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

What's going on? Those last two should be the other way around. I did the david one first!


5:14 PM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

Inexplicable Device: I assume having multiple personalities would be confusing. To add to the weirdness, I had two notifications for the David comment in my inbox, but no notification for one of your comments.

7:36 PM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Spider Girl said...

Heh, "anti-announcement", I think it's a good idea---revenge of the Hungry Librairian. :)

11:32 AM, March 08, 2006  

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