Dear Patron Who Stole a Bunch of Books and Decided to Return Them,
Thank you for dumping these books outside our doors and not bringing them inside. It's been raining all day. Did you notice? If you were worried, I found them fairly quickly so they didn't get drenched in the next shower. What finally happened to make you return them anyway? I know you had most of these books for years. Did the curse get you? Anyway, it was very brave of you to slink up to our entrance and drop them beside the door.
We're very happy to have back:
The Complete Prophecies of Nostradamus
Book 4 by Aleister Crowley
The Complete Book of Tarot
777 and other Qabalistic Writings
Peyote the Divine Cactus
The Symbolism of the Tarot
The Freedom of Life
Magical Mushrooms and Mischievous Molds
We're especially happy to have back the last two in the list, seeing as you have ripped off the covers and title pages. They're really great. Honestly, I wasn't sure if they were ours, but being clever, I found out the titles with Google Books. Yep, we're missing copies of both those books. Thanks! We'll throw them away now.
Never Darken Our Doorstep Again,
The Vampire Librarian