Sunday, April 20, 2008

NO, Just NO

A lot of people say that putting 'NO' signs in the library is a downer, and we should instead only use permissive signs like 'Cell phone use allowed here' or 'Talking allowed', but people don't get it. If students aren't told not to do something, they'll do it because hey, nobody said they couldn't.

Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to put up any 'NO' signs because I'd end up wallpapering the place with them.

What 'NO' signs would I put up? Here are a few. And please remember, all of these would be INSIDE the building.

NO alcohol.

NO smoking.

NO snoring.

NO nesting.

NO wrestling.

NO dancing on tables.

NO golfing.

NO kicking, punching, or rocking the vending machines. Don't punch the wall either when your Skittles jam.

No food fights.

NO bitching about our lack of a large stapler, microwave, change machine, or fax machine. We're never going to get any of those. Get over it, or you know, go else where. You spend too much time here already. Explore the campus. Maybe you'll find what you're looking for in another building. If you ask us nicely, we might even tell you where to look. After we've told you where to go, then GO. Don't continue to bitch. See this sign? NO BITCHING.

God, I really want that last sign.

Got a 'NO' sign wish? Put it in the comments.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How did you get here?

Once again, here's another edition of strange search terms that landed people on my blog!

Excluded are all the vampire related and LSD/rat poison searches. Though they are the top searches that bring people here, they're just ho-hum now.

free pencils from IKEA - Yes, you can get them and free tape measures too! Go, stock up.

Newspaper rod - How can this be? I am the number 1 result in Google.

going on vacation poetry - I've written bad poetry, but none about going on vacation.

Let's see if I can...

An Ode to Vacation

Oh, vacation, you're so lovely
You make me all school girl bubbly.
A day, a week, a month, or more
No matter the length, you rock to the core.

I'll always love you, vacation.
And I don't care who hears my exclamation.

There, how was that? No flames, please.

P.S. I know I said vampire searches would be excluded, but this one made me guffaw:
Vampires real or meth?

Labels: ,

Monday, April 07, 2008


This is what the kids are drinking now. It has caffeine, ginseng, and taurine. It's also 9% alcohol. We're not supposed to know that. We're supposed to think it's an energy drink. I'm having fun busting the 'joosers'. I would think this would mess a person up like mixing uppers and downers. It may not be that high a dose, but still not good for the body.


Wednesday, April 02, 2008


I've deleted my previous post because it was a bummer, and I didn't want to leave it up to depress me. What perks me up? Psychopaths!

If you haven't heard of the miniseries Jekyll, please go find it and watch it. It's a modern sci-fi retelling of the classic tale. James Nesbitt plays the title character and his alter ego, and I can't believe I haven't seen this man before because he's crazy good in this role. Matching his quality is Gina Bellman, who plays his wife. That's right. Jekyll's married with kids, and the missus is not about to let hubby off the hook just because he's got a homicidal alter-ego. She's still his wife, and she owns him. I cheered for her a lot.

There are a few high cheese moments. The opening sequence to episode five comes to mind, and a few of the secondary characters are way over the top, but the main actors do a stupendous job with great rapid fire dialogue. I also seriously loved how they handled flashbacks in this series. They played with time a lot. Sometimes when shows or movies do this it annoys me because it seems like the only reason they spliced it out of order was to hide how boring the story actually was, but this show did it with wonderfully clear reason to it. Now I think it should go without saying, but this show is pretty dark. Hyde is not a nice fellow. Really freaking scary for the most part. He's a raging id hell bent on killing and fucking everything around him, possibly in that order. So yeah, don't watch this with your kids, but once they're in bed, pop in the DVD, and I promise you'll get a smile like this on your face: