Sunday, December 10, 2006

Get Your Crazy On

So yeah, a patron accused me of assault and called the cops...

Wait, let me back up. I agreed to work a night of overtime at Library X. We're open 24/7 due to exams. I came in Friday night to work. I go downstairs at midnight to check the building for non-students, and on the first floor, I see an older, slovenly dressed woman asleep. I vaguely know that she's a non-student and a previous problem patron of the library, but I haven't had any run-ins with her, so I don't assume the worst. Oh how naive I am.

The woman is stretched across two chairs asleep. I tap her foot to wake her. She blinks awake and looks at me. "Hi, are you a student?"

"Yes."

"May I see your ID?" I know she's not a student, but I don't call her on it.

"I haven't gotten it. I'm an alum. I have my alum card."

"I'm sorry, but alumni aren't allowed to stay here after midnight."

She is clearly outraged. "You know this is profiling. Are you going to check everyone else for ID?"

I look around. Everyone in eyesight is clearly a student. I see them every night. Plus, they all have books out, are studying in groups, or are working on laptops, unlike this woman who has a few bags with her that don't have any books in them and was asleep. "I know they're all students."

She doesn't like my answer. "Are you a student?"

"No, I'm staff."

"How long have you been here?"

"Three years."

"What's your name?"

"Vampire Librarian."

"I'm going to report you. You know that hitting my foot was assault. I'm going to call the cops."

"Okay, but I still need you to leave."

"I will leave if you get out of my way."

I take another step back, and wait for her to collect her stuff. She has a pair of crutches with her, but I know from previous reports, she always has crutches and/or a neck brace with her, but she doesn't need them. She turns and begins complaining to a student sitting nearby who'd been watching the exchange.

"Can you believe she's asking me to leave? She's not even a student, and she says I have to leave!"

The student gets up and goes away.

She finally gets her stuff together and goes to the elevator. I wait for the elevator to come down and then run up three flights of stairs to be at the desk when she arrives. She scowls when she sees me behind the desk waiting for her.

"This is total profiling. I'm going to call the cops. You just wait, Vampire Librarian."

She turns to a group of students that are walking by. "Do any of you write for the student paper? I have a story for you. That woman is discriminating against me and profiling. She also assaulted me."

The students stare at her blankly and move along.

She huffs and goes outside where she proceeds to use the blue call box to call the police. I only know this because a student comes in to report a crazy woman screaming into the call box claiming a library employee assaulted her.

I nod and tell the student, "Yeah, I'm the one who supposedly assaulted her. Thanks for telling me."

I wait for the cops.

My cohort for the night is not a regular circ person. She works for acquisitions usually. She's quite shocked by these turn of events. I tell her who to call if I'm arrested. I wonder if the library will make bail.

Eventually a UPD officer strolls in. Crazy lady isn't with him. He comes up to the desk. "All right, what happened?"

I tell him, and he nods his head. I have to ask: "Did she accuse me of assault?"

He nods his head. "Yeah, but tapping someone's foot to wake them up isn't assault. We do that all the time. I told her we would have to uphold the library's policy, and she can come talk to a library administrator during the daytime about it."

"I think this woman has caused trouble at the library before."

He nods. "She haunts the police department. She's not right. She thinks there's a conspiracy against her. She's clearly paranoid and a little delusional."

"Great..."

He taps the desk. "Well, if that's it, I hope the rest of your evening's quiet."

"Thanks."

And there you have it - A patron has finally called the cops on me. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Spike said...

Ornery bugger.

Er, her not you.

1:07 AM, December 11, 2006  
Anonymous Dances With Books said...

Yea, she may have called the cops, but in the end, you were vindicated, and she is STILL a dingbat. We get our share of those so called "alumni" here who get uppity when told it's time to go. Half the time turns out they are bozos who attended here one semester or two, dropped out, and still think they are entitled as any student. Good thing when the cops come, it's them out the door and not us. It's good to get to know your campus cops.

10:19 AM, December 11, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hehe... the crazies are everywhere, eh?

We actually had a patron go to the police station to complain we were denying him his equal rights when we finally barred him for repeat pornography violations (which he had been repeatedly warned about and which are completely against our library policy). He was pretty surprised when told by the cops it was against state law to view pornography in a public building and he had better quit complaining before he got arrested for breaking the law. (giggle)

11:29 AM, December 11, 2006  
Anonymous Arkham said...

Wow, makes me glad I'm not working with the public anymore. (Free after 3 years - just got my first professional job as a cataloger)

I love your blog, btw. Great stories...though I suppose you sometimes wish things weren't quite so interesting.

6:53 PM, December 11, 2006  
Blogger Librarian Girl said...

Ah yes. I believe that foot-tapping was developed in the street fighting techniques of the Hong Kong mafia.

10:44 AM, December 13, 2006  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

Update on Crazy Woman: She's been to Big Research Library claiming to be current/former staff and wanted keys to staff only areas. It's just amazing how crazy stupid this woman is.

Thanks everyone for your comments. They make me smile.

10:36 PM, December 17, 2006  

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