Sunday, February 12, 2006


The Vampire Librarian is sad. The Vampire Librarian has been yelled at because she liked the new policies a little too much. Yes, the Vampire Librarian will continue to write this post in the third person.

Two new big policy changes went into effect recently. One was the restriction of the public's access to Library X computers. Yay! The second is children under sixteen may not be in the library without a custodial adult. Double yay! But wait! There are exceptions to the second policy that were not originally discussed when talking about the policy change. One is children under sixteen who wish to use the library to look up books and do research for educational purposes may be in the library without a custodial adult. Another is that children of faculty and staff may be in the library without a custodial adult. The Vampire Librarian doesn't give a flying fig about either of these exceptions. She merrily kicked children out of the library and informed UPD and campus security that they could as well.

That got Vampire Librarian into trouble.

They told her that's not what's in the policy. They told her that she must handle the children delicately. Ask them if their parents work for University Z. Ask them if they are doing homework. Ask them if they want milk and cookies.

Vampire Librarian wanted to ask if she could bite someone and not in the fun way.

What the higher ups don't understand is that CHILDREN LIE. They'll claim a parent works for University Z if we ask them. They'll claim to be doing research if we ask them. Vampire Librarian isn't going to ask them. She will ask if they are sixteen. If they claim they are, she will ask for ID, and then watch the four foot liars stomp out of Library X.

Vampire Librarian is happy with the policy. She is ignoring the exceptions. Vampire Librarian may get yelled at again, but she doesn't think it's enough to fire her. She could be wrong.



Blogger Happy Villain said...

I would be doing the exact same thing!

Hope you don't get yelled at again. Some rules have so many exceptions that there is no point of having them at all. I hate those. HATE!

More proof that I should run the world. Or you. Either would probably be better. :)

1:50 AM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger MadameBoffin said...

Policy-shmolicy. Keep kicking the lying little buggers out! It's just like House says, "everyone lies" (especially snotty-nosed, jammy-fingered kids who are way to conniving for their own good) :)

4:23 AM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger tiny robot said...

Why is it okay for faculty and staff to drop their kids off at the library so you can babysit?

Not cool.

9:58 AM, February 13, 2006  
Anonymous librarynut said...

The trick is to ask the kids in ways that they can't lie as easily:

"So, what department does your mom or dad work for here?" or "So, how about you tell me what you are researching about and show me the assingment?"

If you give them a question they can answer by yes or no, its very easy for them to lie. But if you hit them with a question that they have to actually give information in order to answer, most of them can not think that quickly.

And frankly. those exceptions are bullshit.

10:31 AM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger Swordspoint said...

Ooooooo House, I love that show. Yes, kids are usually the biggest assholes in the library (I work in a public one and parents seem to think we are nothing but a day care for their kids.)
Keep kicking them out!!

11:49 AM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger Angel, librarian and educator said...

Children lie in so many ways, some very creative, the older they get. I know, I am parent and former school teacher (which means I have seen just about every lie in the book and some extras). And tiny robot makes a good point, why is it ok for faculty and staff to think that they can drop their kids off for babysitting at your library. You keep enforcing those rules and kicking those kids out. Besides, the last thing you need is a potential lawsuit if one of those ragamuffins has something happen to them while their parents go off, and they try to pawn it on you. What the heck was your administration thinking? Best of luck.

12:16 PM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger listmaker said...

Don't be sad, Vampire, just keep throwing them out; it's a stupid policy.

4:24 PM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

I just finished watching the first season of "House" on DVD! I totally agreed with his mantra of everyone lies.

I still don't get the whole faculty/staff kids provision. It's all about snow days it seems. If it's such a rare/special thing, why can't the parent come in, identify him or herself and introduce the child and leave an exention to contact the parent? I think that would be a given.

I basically know that any juvenile who comes to the desk is not going to fall into any of the categories they outlined. None of these kids come in with a bookbag. I work the evening shift, so these faculty/staff children would not be here during my shift, at least they aren't likely, and like I told one of my supervisors, if the staff/faculty parent feels comfortable leaving the child unattended in a library, why not at home?

But man the hub bub this all caused freaked me out. Everyday last week, I had some director or coordinator come speak to me, and these people don't even have offices in Library X, so they would come down from their ivory tower/office especially to see me. All very disconcerting.

6:53 PM, February 13, 2006  
Blogger Inexplicable DeVice said...

I hope the Vampire Librarian is still booting out the little monsters and still has her job.

Exceptions are there to be ignored.

5:41 PM, February 14, 2006  
Blogger Spike said...

What Device dude said.

6:38 PM, February 14, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a library person and a mother, I don't think kids under 16 have any business being in a university library by themselves.

Go get 'em, girl!

12:08 AM, February 17, 2006  

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