5 Things

I've been tagged by Library Mistress. (1/29/07 ETA: Oops, it seems I was tagged twice. The Cool Librarian tagged me way back on Dec.26. I was deep into vacation then and completely missed it. But thanks for the tag, Jessica! Sorry, I didn't link to you earlier.)

I have to divulge 5 things that blog readers don't know about me.

Well, the obvious things to divulge would be "My name is...Library X is actually...University Z is really...", but that doesn't come to 5 things, and I want to keep my job.

So here's some other stuff that won't get me fired, and look there's a theme!

1. When I was a teen, I went through a pagan faze: Studied witchcraft, performed rituals, crafted some spells; until it freaked me out. That shit works! But not usually how you expect...hence my no longer performing witchcraft. Let's just say there was a banish water spell to quell local flooding and severe dehydration instead. (Somebody didn't put down her protective circle like she was supposed to.)

2. We had a real pet cemetery incident growing up. Here's the story: My parents got word from some neighbors that our cat Bandit was dead on the side of the road. My dad retrieved Bandit and buried him. He told me and my brother that night what happened to Bandit. We were, of course, upset by the news. Bandit was a beloved cat, barely out of kittenhood. We went to bed that night and the next morning, woke up to the sound of hijinks in the living room. Mom gave yell for Dad. We all went out, and there was Bandit playing with our dog. And get this: He was covered in red mud. Dad couldn't explain it. He definitely buried the cat. The cat was definitely dead. The cat was definitely Bandit. But there was Bandit in desperate need of a bath, frisky as ever, and hungry. To add to the eeriness, nobody had let Bandit into the house that morning. He just appeared. We couldn't figure it out. Dad wouldn't tell us where he'd buried Bandit, and he refused to go check the spot himself to see if there was a cat corpse there. Bandit lived for a few more years after that and then just disappeared. We don't know what happened to him. No other pets we've buried have ever returned.

3. I have a lot of nightmares. I'm talking trapped in a horror film nightmares. My biggest fear is supernatural possession. Whenever it happens in a nightmare, I'm freaked out for a long time afterward. I refuse to make too much of it though. I do watch a lot of horror movies. And plus, who wouldn't be afraid of being possessed by a demon, ghost, or Richard Simmons?

4. I think I saw a ghost once. I was young. I woke up in my bed and saw an old man sitting at the end of it, wearing an overcoat and fedora. It felt like he'd been speaking to me for a long time, but all I can remember him saying to me was, "I'll see you again." Then he disappeared. I was terrified. I contemplated going to my parents bedroom to hide, but didn't think they'd believe me and make me go back to my room anyway. I haven't seen the man again, and I know it very well could've just been a dream, but it stayed with me, and Lord help me if the guy ever reappears. Don't know who he was. Just know he was dead.

5. On my last birthday, I went to a funeral. It was for a cousin. It was sad.

All right, there are my five things.

Consider yourself tagged: Happy Villain, Feel-good Librarian, Lisa K., Juice, Dances With Books.

Collection Comparison

On the left, we have Mdzod bdun : the famed seven treasuries of Vajray¯ana Buddhist philosophy, vol.4 Theg mchog mdzod by Klo·n-chen-pa Dri-med-’od-zer. An unbound volume of Buddhist philosophy in Tibetan.

On the right, we have Old school, directed by Todd Phillips. The unrated version.

Guess which one is from Library X and which one is from Big Research Library.
And before you waste any brain cells, this isn't a trick question.

Where's the Bathroom?

I've been catching up on my Blogline subscriptions and reading the responses to the WSJ article "In the Fray: Should Libraries' Target Audience Be Cheapskates With Mass-Market Tastes?" by John J. Miller published January 3, 2007. All the flaws in this article have already been highlighted and excellently stated, so that leaves me with only Library X stuff to rant about.

What do I have to rant about?

Public urination.

That's right. Peeing in places other than bathrooms is what we're currently dealing with at Library X. Sometime in the past couple of days, somebody took a leak in a trashcan on the main floor. How this got by staff, I don't know. We had closed the public restrooms on the main floor until further notice due to continuous vandalism, so somebody peed in a trashcan. Before you ask, we still have bathrooms open to the public. They are on the lower floors. They're accessible by stairs and elevators. The Out-of-Order signs on the main floor bathrooms direct patrons to these lower bathrooms, but still somebody decided to pee in a trashcan.

The reason we closed the public restrooms on the main floor was because someone was maliciously clogging them with toilet paper. It was happening several times a week. These bathrooms are single unisex bathrooms without drains in the floor. The clogging of the toilets often resulted in the floor flooding and the toilet water seeping into the carpet outside the restrooms. The area permanently smells like pee.

I now have to check the trashcans to see if there's human waste in them. I am SO not paid enough for this shit, and I make that statement quite literally. I am not paid enough to go looking for shit, piss, or used tampons. I demand a raise.

In happier news, Stupid Crazy Woman is BANNED from campus! Don't know what she finally did to get the cops to ban her, but I'm glad she's gone. She'd been back to Library X and talked to several desk students and told them crazy stuff. Twice she claimed be to in the Witness Protection Program, and she claimed to be secretly employed by the University as "clandestine faculty".

No, We Don't Own That

(Happy New Year Everybody!)

Student called to ask if we had a DVD that he wanted. He said he'd searched the catalog, but our catalog sucked and would I look it up for him. I bit my tongue to keep from telling him that maybe his search terms sucked.

"Okay, what's the title?"

"UHF."

I type in the title and restrict to visual materials. Nothing with that title appears.

"I'm sorry, but it appears we don't own it."

"Are you sure? I think it would be something the library should own."

I double check. Still nothing. I wonder if maybe the student has the title wrong.

"Can you tell me more about the movie? Who's in it? What's it about?"

"It stars Weird Al Yankovic. I searched under his name, but found nothing."

In my head, I respond, "Thank God," and then, "What's the proper way to search for 'Weird Al' Yankovic?" (And the answer is: Yankovic, Al)

"I'm sorry, but the library doesn't own it. You can submit a purchase request."

"Huh, yeah, I really think the library should own it."

I think, "Why?????"

"Okay, do you know how to make a purchase request?"

"Yeah, I've done it before. Thanks."

"No problem. Bye."

God, the thought that this movie could be entering our collection scares me. I mean we already have The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (Thanks to Kyle). I think we've reached our craptastic limit.