Friday, June 17, 2005

Me, Paranoid?

I don't get what the big deal is. If we're going to redesign the main floor of the library, let's do it right. I want clear sightlines, no nooks and crannies, only four computers for community members to be able to access and they have to STAND to use them, a security station, attack dogs, ceiling mounted lasers, retina scanners, a helivac landing pad on the roof, and better staff chairs. What's the problem?

9 Comments:

Blogger Snooze said...

Just ban the patrons. Then the work is so much more pleasant.

3:54 PM, June 17, 2005  
Anonymous Spike said...

LOL. I'm loving the ceiling-mounted lasers.

11:17 PM, June 17, 2005  
Blogger Lee said...

You forgot the muscled guys fanning you with leaves. Tsk!

3:39 AM, June 18, 2005  
Blogger disgruntled world citizen said...

Don't forget the Library Policemen and the Book Gnomes. Oh, wait, Book Gnomes are no good. They do bad things in the library, but if you train them and treat them well they may be able to do bad things to the patrons if you'd like them to. Book Gnomes are scary-- I know, they inhabit the bookstore I work in.

1:43 AM, June 19, 2005  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

A cookie to whoever guesses which three items I actually requested.

In the past, I just asked for tasers. That's why it's not on the list. Knew it wouldn't happen.

Snooze, banning patrons just wouldn't be sporting.

Lee, well what can I say. You always remember what I forget.

9:28 AM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

Oh, and disgruntled, I have not encountered these book gnomes. I'll take your word on their ferocity. Training gnomes sounds tricky though.

9:30 AM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger Sister said...

How about grenade launchers? I here they're all the rage now!

2:53 PM, June 20, 2005  
Anonymous Laura said...

No, no, no! You need a pool of sharks with head mounted lasers! Everyone knows that!

6:33 PM, June 20, 2005  
Blogger No one asked us said...

Just have drag queens there to attack and verbally assualt any patron who does something stupid (which will more then likely be any patron at any time, anywhere) that is more fun for the worker anyways.

2:51 PM, June 24, 2005  

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