Sunday, February 06, 2005

Vanilla Sky

I should not watch movies like Vanilla Sky. You know the ones that play with the concept of reality: Fight Club, Soul Survivor, Identity, The Matrix, everything written by Charlie Kaufman. For me, reality is a rather precarious thing. I don’t need to be reminded of the tenuousness of it. Reality too easily becomes surreality. Nightmares, dreams, and fantasies seem so vivid as to make me wonder if they’re the reality, and I’m only deluding myself with this current mundanity, and the fact that two of the words I’ve just used do not supposedly exist, yet they seem like true things, things that should exist, makes me wonder. Why don’t these words exist? Maybe they aren’t allowed to exist so as to keep me from knowing myself and my world.

Getting tangled in the veil, that’s what I’m doing.

I comfort myself with Zen Buddhist thought; the mantra all is one and one is nothing; the whole blowing out of the candle to reach enlightenment. I guess that’s what religion is for--to give one the false sense that the universe can be known. That one can understand reality. Delusions created to cope by.

Well, here’s me coping.

Author's Note: This post brought to you by Vanilla Sky, paint fumes, and way too much caffeine.


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