Why I haven't been posting:

OMG! I just realised I have not updated this since people stopped clapping and Tinkerbell died... You may not believe this, but my hands were chopped off, and I was waiting for bionic ones. I prostrate myself in sorrow and beg thy forgiveness...

Really, I am so busy with setting fire to people wearing Crocs, being distracted by the shiny, and just generally being a terrible burden to various lawyers I met recently that my day is passing in a blur from 8am to the time I run out of alcohol. I am looking at rectifying this. But who cares.

I will try to remember that I promised to update you with my nefarious activities as soon as I get a chance. Truly! Unless of course the pool with the cocktail bar is heated.

(This post brought to you by The Lazy Bloggers Post Generator.)

Job Listing

Considering how much I'm disliking my job at the moment, it was probably dangerous to send me this. If I apply, my bosses will hunt down the little birdy who sent it to me.

DATE LISTED: August 7, 2008

TITLE: Librarian I

LIBRARY: Transylvania Public Library

CITY: Brevard, NC

SALARY: 34,361 – 42,931 - Grade Level 14

QUALIFICATIONS: Graduation from an ALA-accredited school of Library and Information Science with a Master's degree in library science and some experience in library work at the professional level; or an equivalent combination of education and experience. Eligible for North Carolina Public Librarian Certification.

DUTIES: Responsible for providing excellent library service to the community;for supervising the library's circulation department; for developing and conducting library programs and events for adults; for production of the library's newsletter and for collection development in assigned areas of the library. Employee's primary responsibility is to supervise the circulation department of the library. Provides information/readers' advisory/reference services (electronic and print) to library patrons by phone, email and in person. Assists library patrons in the use of all library services and equipment.Develops, plans, publicizes and evaluates all adult programs and activities. Develops collection in areas of assignment including investigating and recommending books and other media for purchase;participates in collection management; plans and presents various programs for both staff and the public. Supervises and evaluates three full time and 4 to 5 part time staff members. Develops schedules and long and short range plans for the circulation department. Generates reports and maintains records. Plans programs reflective of the community demographics and develops strong partnerships in the community. Must work nights, weekends and a flexible schedule.

AVAILABLE: Immediately

APPLY BY: August 29, 2008

TO APPLY: Submit a State Application (PD107) to the Employment Security Commission, Community Services Building.

FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: Submit a state application PD107 and resume to the North Carolina Employment Security Commission, Community Services Building, Brevard, NC 28712.

An Equal Opportunity Employer

I hate RFID technology and want it cast into the deepest darkest pit of Hell.

That is all.