Monday, June 04, 2007

Do I Get Training for This?

(Is anyone still reading this? I have no excuse except sweet, sweet slacking.)

We've been having security issues in Library X. We go through periods of this. Along with our bad doors which don't swing shut properly and re-lock, people have been trying to hide and stay in the library. The opening staff has come in a couple of times to find students and homeless people already/still in the building. Not a comforting scene.

We've been working to get the issue resolved, but as a quick stop-gap, the building supervisor has come up with an amusing (to me, possibly alarming to others) solution.

Behold our newest piece of equipment!
Now you may be thinking, "VL, didn't you already have a flashlight for when the power goes out?" And you would be right. We have several flashlights, but none have the features of this lovely Maglite.

Because and I quote, "You can use it to shine into dark corners and defend yourself against anything you might find." And how would I defend myself? Blind them? Oh no, as was demonstrated to me, I just need to flip this bad boy around and swing because the Maglite is shock resistant.

That's right! I'm expected now to bludgeon patrons. Sure, I'm supposed to wait till we're closed, but I don't need to tell the patrons we're closed.

I wonder if I can convince them to buy this accessory for the Maglite:

It'd make the bludgeoning easier.

The way I see all this--I'm just one step closer to getting that tazer...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep, still reading and wondering why it took almost a month for an update!

This is a great idea. None of this having your flashlight out and having to switch to your shotgun to fight demons^H^H^H^H^H^H homeless students in the dark, now you just beat them with the flashlight!

Libraries seem darker and darker places every day (literally in this case -- is it dark enough under desks and in corners that you need a flashlight to spot a stowaway?).

3:20 AM, June 04, 2007  
Anonymous Woeful said...

We don't get training for any of this. We would need self-defense classes, as well as psychology classes to be thorough since we are part-time social workers. This reminds me of a post I did awhile back:

BTW, after hours they're no longer patrons, they are criminals... Be careful.

5:52 AM, June 04, 2007  
Blogger Carlson Library said...

Hey- I'm still reading and your posts still make me laugh out loud!

6:01 AM, June 04, 2007  
Anonymous Arkham said...

Yep, still reading...and my coworkers probably wonder what I'm laughing at! I wish I'd been expected to bludgeon patrons after we were closed when I worked circ...maybe THEN we could have gotten them out by closing!

8:03 AM, June 04, 2007  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

Recently, I was helping a student lock the front doors, and I had the Maglite with me. A student came up set to "run-in&out" (no such thing). All I had to say was no with the Maglite resting on my shoulder, and he meekly turned away. I'm thinking fine disputes will go much better with the Maglite in my grasp.

11:32 AM, June 04, 2007  
Blogger Happy Villain said...

They really are cool, VL. We have one at every public desk in our library, and though they're part of the emergency kit (i.e. if a tornado crushes the building, we have our pencils, glow sticks and a Maglite), and I have always thought it was a much better swinging weapon than source of light. A heavy, sturdy blunt object! Can't you already hear it at the coroner's office? I often wonder if the Powers That Be understand that they might as well have given us flails.

12:28 PM, June 04, 2007  
Blogger Katya said...

Oh, so the maglite works as a patron repellant as well as patron bludgeoner? Pretty cool defense system you have there. :) I was glad to see a new post when I checked today -- I always check periodically just in case you've updated.

6:59 PM, June 06, 2007  
Blogger Warrior Knitter said...

I check in every week or so. I enjoy your posts.

3:14 PM, June 08, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So many runaway children, 15 year old girls who landed on the streets of Hollywood and elsewhere, ended up prostituting themselves.
This is a topic that nicely illustrates how god is preditory on children, for not only did they popularize the notion of casual sex back in the 60s they instructed Artificial Intelligence to desensitize young women. Now we have people prostituting themselves through college and even choosing to turn tricks in high school.
I suspect it ocurrs far more frequently then they will admit:::I suggest parents inquire about the status of their female children.
Sadly, far too often these parents also are corrupted, and they think their daughters are earning by corrupting these young men.
god is preditory on children::::
-Child molestation/sexual abuse (life was decent before)
-Halloween -Christmas -Easter -Candy -Sugary breakfast cereals -Soda
-Free sex 1960s, which continued until the intentional AIDS scare.
-Preditory cartoons.
-This tempation-based popular culture is targetted at the young people:::::It creates "open doors" which are designed to manufacture dysfunctions by conditioning them with peaked euphoria ("magic").

Homeless runaways go to Hollywood - gods making a statement/offering a clue about this industry.
The gods place no importance in these individuals. Only this Manifest Destinty society does.
And since there are multiples for each movie none of them are important.

Romans were used as monsters. They were terrorists who raped the region.
Like the Scandanavians.
Like the Pawnee.
Like the Japanese.
Like all the others whom I fail to list.

People today have much in common with the mideval Europeans who were victimized by the Scandanavians:::::
Between the celebrity culture and the gangster positioning that is Manifest Destiny we have OUR Vikings, violators who who raped, pillaged and plundered our society to the brink of the Apocalypse with their corruption and themes that encouraged social deterioration.

1:25 AM, June 13, 2007  
Blogger htw said...

I think the person above used the unusual lost and found object to smoke something never before seen by mankind.....

Great blog! I'd begun to think the academic world did have as much fun as we public librarians do! Now I definitely know different ;D

5:25 PM, June 15, 2007  
Blogger htw said...


that would be "didn't have as much fun"

5:26 PM, June 15, 2007  

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