Recipe for MeNOThelpyou Cake
Ingredients:
1 Outdated Library policy i.e. Free Printing!
1 Bushy large beard with possible rodent infestation.
Lots and lots of print jobs
1 OPEN FLY, and I'm talking gaping open. The horse could leave the barn at any moment.
Directions:
Claim you've worked hours to compile these "important" print jobs, which I know to be untrue, since I've been here eight hours, and I know you've only been here for one.
Refer to a five year old outdated policy of free printing and suggest it should still apply to you since you haven't been in town since the new policy went into effect.
Scratch your hairy beard through the entire conversation, possibly picking things out of it.
Do all this with your FLY OPEN. Making me wonder what exactly you've been looking at on the computer.
Cooking time - 10 mins AFTER CLOSING
For that stronger taste of ire, walk away from me after being denied help, go up to the circ counter, lean over the counter till your feet leave the floor, call the work study out from hiding, and insist that he help you. Make me wait another ten minutes for the work study student to show you how to print and then decide you'll abandon your print jobs and go get them from your brother's house instead.
If you follow this simple recipe, you will bake a lovely MeNOThelpyou Cake.
1 Outdated Library policy i.e. Free Printing!
1 Bushy large beard with possible rodent infestation.
Lots and lots of print jobs
1 OPEN FLY, and I'm talking gaping open. The horse could leave the barn at any moment.
Directions:
Claim you've worked hours to compile these "important" print jobs, which I know to be untrue, since I've been here eight hours, and I know you've only been here for one.
Refer to a five year old outdated policy of free printing and suggest it should still apply to you since you haven't been in town since the new policy went into effect.
Scratch your hairy beard through the entire conversation, possibly picking things out of it.
Do all this with your FLY OPEN. Making me wonder what exactly you've been looking at on the computer.
Cooking time - 10 mins AFTER CLOSING
For that stronger taste of ire, walk away from me after being denied help, go up to the circ counter, lean over the counter till your feet leave the floor, call the work study out from hiding, and insist that he help you. Make me wait another ten minutes for the work study student to show you how to print and then decide you'll abandon your print jobs and go get them from your brother's house instead.
If you follow this simple recipe, you will bake a lovely MeNOThelpyou Cake.
Labels: Patrons
posted by Vampire Librarian at 7:33 PM
5 Comments:
If they're not going to cough up an Anti Ratbag Policy, Library X could at least employ a bitchy queen assistant to deal with persons of this ilk. Bitchy queens are excellent at pest control.
My MeNOThelpyou Cake has a much simpler recipe.
Add 1 client.
Add 1 Mac.
Mix.
I often follow up this recipe with my OhNoAnotherLawsuit Cake.
Beat 1 client. Until black and blue. :p
Is he, by any chance, in cahoots with Mr Stinky from a couple of posts ago?
Mayhap they turned up together and the resulting stink and aggro was enough to cause Vamp and her fellow librarians to riot and they are now cooling their heels in pokey.
My library started to use this *lovely* program that turns off all public terminals and printers at exactly 9PM. We can't stop it (and we don't want to)
Highly recommended!
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