Sunday, January 13, 2008

SEO Hijinks

Here is a list of odd search terms that landed people here.

1. Teen lick armpits - This is just wrong and stop clicking my blog to come here. I'm trying to repress.

2. Make rat poison - With as many people who click here from Google, you'd think I actually had the recipe or something.

3. T-shirt "Yes, I'm a bitch" - It seems there is a shirt, but it says, "Yes, I'm a bitch, just not yours!" I'm not sure what the hell they're getting at there, but I don't think I like it.

4. Make poison everyday - oookay...

5. "I really needed to use the bathroom." - So what happened? Did you go? Did you just get back? Did you wash your hands?

6. Crazy library patron - I got one right here.

7. Dangers of too much sex - I really wish Google made people EXPLAIN why they're searching for what they're searching. What happened? Did it break? Are you feeling light headed? What's making you worry about this?

8. Too dumb to live in Massachusetts - I don't know what this is about, but it made me laugh.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't blog about this, but the #1 search term that landed people at my blog on Christmas Day was, "BDSM."

9:48 PM, January 13, 2008  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

librarianwoes, ick.

I just discovered that one of the rat poison searches originiated from the USPS! Now I want to know if they were interested in the actual rodent poison or LSD.

1:23 AM, January 14, 2008  
Anonymous Dances With Books said...

There is a danger of too much sex? I had no idea I was pushing my luck. Haha. Anyhow, I always find amusing when people posts these kind of notes about how people get to their blogs. I don't think I want would want to know what gets them to mine.

10:18 AM, January 14, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure it's funny, but is it funny enough to reinforce these searches by posting them again?
I think the irony of that is the funniest part of this post. :)

11:32 AM, January 14, 2008  
Blogger Canadian Girl said...

Someone found my blog using the search term "Dr. Pepper insertion". I don't want to know ...

12:11 AM, January 15, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well the bitch comment probably comes from Bravo's Top Chef. There's a pretty famous line from the first season where one chef says to another: I'm not your bitch, bitch.

11:12 AM, January 15, 2008  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

Dances with Books, I love seeing the crazy search terms. It's also a great way to write a post when you have absolutely nothing else to write about.

Trypd, I know. But why not? I get a perverse pleasure over being the number one search result for "How to make rat poison".

Canandian Girl, ookie.

Anon, I'm not sure. Maybe. I just don't like it when the term bitch is used with possessive pronouns like a guy saying, "Yeah, that's my bitch," as he is referring to his girlfriend. Bitch used for self empowerment is fine. It's not okay when used as a derogatory term. The idea of possession (my bitch) unnerves me and the seeming dehumanization.

6:32 PM, January 15, 2008  
Blogger Spike said...

I am quite jealous of your search loons. All I get is peeps checking out real estate and illicit work visits from a copper.

2:21 AM, January 19, 2008  
Anonymous librarianguish said...

I accidentally deleted my blog counter that told me what the search terms were that bring people to my site. One time, it was "one eyed baby with horn." Since I didn't have one, I drew a picture so they wouldn't go away disappointed if they ever came back...

2:26 AM, January 21, 2008  
Blogger Vampire Librarian said...

Spike, I will be happy to send some crazies your way.

librarianguish, great name. I only get to see the last five pages of referrals. There have been some searches in the past that had me seriously scratching my head. I didn't include any of the vampire searches that landed people here. A lot of people want to know how to become a vampire, how to detect a vampire, how to have sex with one. It's crazy.

5:49 AM, January 25, 2008  
Blogger Spike said...

VL, you are too kind.

8:40 PM, February 16, 2008  

Post a Comment

<< Home